We finally got our call from the agency today and unfortuntaly we didn't make it in. She said we were a good canidate and we can try again in February to get in. She said they were looking more for families that already had children because they have a shortage of those families.
I want to cry but I know that is not going to change anything. Sometime it makes me feel like I am not fit to be a mother but on the other hand it just makes me want to push more for my goal. All I want to do is be a Godly mother to a child that needs a loving home and I have that loving home to give. Sometime I just don't understand God's plan but we are not suppossed to understand his plan for us. I have worked so hard to be a mother that it hurts when I can't be. I guess you really don't understand until you are put in that situation.
Deep down I know that this means that the child He has planned for us is not ready for us but when The LORD does finally reveal his plan to us it will be one glorious day and I can't wait for that to happen and I can forget about all this heartache
Psalm 37: 3-5-
Trust in the LORD, and do good; [so] shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring [it] to pass.
I don't know the emotions that go into this process, but you are one of the strongest women I know to open yourself up to it. That strength and determination is EXACTLY what is going to make you such a good mom. You are a fit parent, you are a loving person, and one day, there will be a baby that will be more than blessed to have you and David as parents. All of the heartache and disappointment will be worth it when God brings that sweet baby into your life. Until then, I hope you know that you have so many people praying for you and David! We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteYou are more than fit to be a mother... don't let anyone tell you different. You know what all I went through to be a mom, & I know God has a very special child in store for you. Until then, you will continually be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou will be a GREAT mom!!!! I haven't read all of your blogs, but have you considered international adoption? Darryl and Amanda are considering Thailand.
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