It's infertility awareness week. I read this and it really rang true for me personally.
"Infertility isn't the roller coaster that many people describe - it's
more of a ferris wheel. It just keeps going and going and going.
Sometimes you have to exit the ride for a little while to reconnect with
your spouse, get some space, or soothe your soul. Advice is everywhere,
it seems, but I always find that the best advice is to rely on instinct and to be selfish sometimes. You have to take care of you."
It's a very long, slow process for a lot of women. Sometimes it's
permanent and sometimes they get labeled "infertile" just to have a
Miracle baby years later. For my story it began in 2007 when I found myself miscarrying after only 4 weeks. I only knew for 6 short amazing days. Before that awful November day. David and I had been praying for a child since February of 2006. After my miscarriage my OB/GYN started to run tests on both David and I. Shortly there after I was diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrom) and with that diagnosis and other issues we faced my doctor was amazed we even conceived in the first place. We were told that we have a less 4% chance of ever conceiving again, but we all know God is bigger than any diagnosis and can work miracles if he so chooses. Me I held on to that hope for so many years after that after almost 4 years of infertility work and 2 IUIs or next step was to do an IVF. David and I both agreed that the money that it cost and the chance of it working was not worth the $10,000 gamble so we prayed and prayed for the Lord's guidance. We decided the best way to grow our family was through adoption. At the time we knew adoption would also be expensive but we knew our chance went from 40% to 100%. We like those odds a whole lot better. So in February 2011 we started looking into adoption agencies both locally and nationally. We thought about international but we felt the Lord wasn't leading us in that direction. After research David and I decided that a local agency worked best with us. We went with one company first but they declined us because they were looking more with families that were already established with children. Then in June 2011 my friend Amber invited me to Sand in the City here in Omaha. At the time I thought it was something put on by the city, but when we got there I found out that it was put on by a local adoption agency. I grabbed a few flyers and read them, not really giving them much thought. A few months later I ran across them again and read it again. So the next day I called them on my lunch at work and asked how much there information meeting was (most agencies cost). I was astounded when they told me they only charge our time, treasures, and talents and there was not interview process to get in. As long as you passed the home study and background checks you were in. We knew right away this is where the Lord has brought us. So in November 2011 we went to our first information meeting and in February 2012 we had officially started the process of becoming adoptive parents. In November 2012 we were officially accepted and approved to become adoptive parents through Nebraska Children's Home Society. That is where we are at today in this long long road to being parents. Through the last 7 years the Lord has taught me alot that things don't happen the way you plan them. I have spent many many many nights just crying out to God and literally tears falling crying to him asking him why he hasn't let David and I be parents yet. I still have my tough nights wondering why but I truly know He knows best for us.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story in a nutshell. It just sometimes people don't realize how hard infertility is. I have gotten comments like well maybe God doesn't want you to be parents and I got questioned on why we paid so much for infertility work and want to pay thousands of dollars for adoption. But when the Lord places the desire of motherhood on my heart I can't ignore it, and yes he chose for me to be infertile and I gave up the dream of carrying my child in my womb along time ago. So I am carrying my child in my heart and just praying the Lord brings them home to us soon.
