I want to start out saying I pray for our birth mom each and ever single day. I may not know who she is yet but I already feel like she is apart of our family. That's the beauty of open adoption is that not only will we get the child we always have prayed for but we also get extended family. I know people think I am weird in wanting an open adoption. Open adoption is not co-parenting and the birth mom will not have a say in how David and I choose to raise our child. She will be like a distant relative or a close friend. I would never go to my best friend's house and tell her how to raise her boys. Yet, I love her boys and want the best for them. Its a relationships like that. I get asked all the time by friends, strangers, and family how I could allow the birth mom to be apart of our family. My question is how could I not?! God is using her as a tool to give us our child. Just because we let her see our son and daughter does not mean she will be over everyday and telling us how to parent. If we choose to let her come over for dinner does not mean she will sneak over and kidnap our son or daughter. She is making this decision out of pure love for her child. I saw a video by Mark Schultz which I posted at the end. He said when a birth mom first gets pregnant she has 3 choices. 1) abortion which even writing that word makes me cringe and he he goes onto say if his mom chose the first option he would not be here today, 2) for her to be selfish and keep the baby even though she knows she cannot care for it the way he needs to be, or 3) to place a baby for adoption which is the most selfless act any person on this earth can give. If she loves her baby that much to choose the 3rd option than she is a great example of Christ's love. God gave his one and only son so that we could have life and have it more abundantly. So yes, I do plan on allowing the birth mom in our lives. This does not mean she will be over everyday because David, the baby, I will need our time as a family too. But I do want our son or daughter to know how selfless his birth family is and I want him/her to know how much he is loved. In fact he/she will be loved all the way around. He/she will be one blessed child because he will have David and I to love him/her as our own child and our parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Just like any normal child but then he will also have his birth family to send him cards and love him/her as well. Thanks for listening. Just wanted to share how I feel, because I get asked this question a lot.
Waiting for you :)
Friday, March 22, 2013
How I feel about choosing Open Adoption
I want to start out saying I pray for our birth mom each and ever single day. I may not know who she is yet but I already feel like she is apart of our family. That's the beauty of open adoption is that not only will we get the child we always have prayed for but we also get extended family. I know people think I am weird in wanting an open adoption. Open adoption is not co-parenting and the birth mom will not have a say in how David and I choose to raise our child. She will be like a distant relative or a close friend. I would never go to my best friend's house and tell her how to raise her boys. Yet, I love her boys and want the best for them. Its a relationships like that. I get asked all the time by friends, strangers, and family how I could allow the birth mom to be apart of our family. My question is how could I not?! God is using her as a tool to give us our child. Just because we let her see our son and daughter does not mean she will be over everyday and telling us how to parent. If we choose to let her come over for dinner does not mean she will sneak over and kidnap our son or daughter. She is making this decision out of pure love for her child. I saw a video by Mark Schultz which I posted at the end. He said when a birth mom first gets pregnant she has 3 choices. 1) abortion which even writing that word makes me cringe and he he goes onto say if his mom chose the first option he would not be here today, 2) for her to be selfish and keep the baby even though she knows she cannot care for it the way he needs to be, or 3) to place a baby for adoption which is the most selfless act any person on this earth can give. If she loves her baby that much to choose the 3rd option than she is a great example of Christ's love. God gave his one and only son so that we could have life and have it more abundantly. So yes, I do plan on allowing the birth mom in our lives. This does not mean she will be over everyday because David, the baby, I will need our time as a family too. But I do want our son or daughter to know how selfless his birth family is and I want him/her to know how much he is loved. In fact he/she will be loved all the way around. He/she will be one blessed child because he will have David and I to love him/her as our own child and our parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Just like any normal child but then he will also have his birth family to send him cards and love him/her as well. Thanks for listening. Just wanted to share how I feel, because I get asked this question a lot.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
The Lord at work
This last week the Lord has really been speaking to me about really truly being in His will for my life. It's so true the God's timing is not ours. I don't know when of if he has a child planned for us but I have to be prepared either way. Over the last few weeks I have felt "less of a woman" because I am not a mom. One of my biggest depressed days was this past Wednesday. I woke up in a fog and not really wanting to be near anyone or do anything. Wednesday morning when I walked into work I was given a special project that I had to get done. So I sat at my desk at work and popped on my ear buds and turned it to our local Christian Radio station. Around 10:00 they took a break from the music playing and Focus on the Family came on. Guess what it was on? That's right it was on being a Virtuous Woman; the woman God wants us to be. One of the things that really tugged my heart is the lady on the radio said God has a purpose for every woman whether she is a wife, mother, or called to be single. We are to be the women God has planned for us to be. This really got me thinking because I am a wife and I have been putting David's needs aside and focusing on what I want and not being the wife I should be. I have not been the virtuous wife God had intended me to be towards David. So I made a decision to be happy with whatever path The Lord decides to give me because that is what He wants for me. I will be a much happier person by choosing to be happy in my life now instead of dwelling on what I do not have and start focusing on what God has blessed me with which is a wonderful Godly man that loves the Lord and that helps around the house (Truth be told he probably does more than me in this area). I have truly been blessed already and look forward to the blessing of the future. I have 2 of the most well be have dogs I could ever ask for.
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